"I will give you a new heart........."

You might wonder why it is titled "By Grace 1996".....well that is the year that my life changed forever. It would be hard to explain all that has changed over these last 13 years but I will attempt over the next few posts, so just be patient and I would love to hear your feedback and comments ! Enjoy !

It was 13 years ago.....I was 28, married to Tony and the mother of two beautiful daughters. My marriage was not all that I had dreamed it would be, and Tony and I were on our way to a marriage conference.....put on through "Family Life" called "A Weekend To Remember." There I learned how little I knew about a healthy marriage, and how much I had bought into the 50%/50% marriage that just doesn't work !!! I remember sitting there thinking as I listened to the speakers....."that is exactly what we do." I listened to what they had to say and began to pray that God would help me to understand what He truly had designed when he created marriage in the first place. The speakers spoke of how God never intended marriage to be a "partnership" ( 50%/50% ) , but that He designed to be a "relationship" ( 100%/100% ), and that I was to give my 100% irregardless of whether Tony was giving his 100%, and then let God deal with my husband on what needed changing in him. I had gone to the conference hoping that God would "change" him and what I found was that God had some "changing" to do in me !!! I don't pretend to mean that after that weekend that my marriage suddenly became the one of my dreams...... but I will tell you this much....... God took a hold of my heart that weekend and I have never been the same !!!

"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. " ( Ezekiel 36:26 )

I left the conference with a renewed commitment to my marriage and the knowledge and belief that the Lord Jesus would help me to make those changes. Those changes did not come quickly or easily......there were times of struggle and hurt but also of joy and celebration. I was attending a wonderful church ( Sagemont, Houston Texas ) and went into the library to find some more books on building a healthy marriage, and a woman invited me to a home bible study for women ....yes... you guessed it....on building healthy marriages. That is not exactly how she described it but as I look back............ that is what the main focus was. She and the other woman that held the study called it "Titus 2" based on the scripture.

"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. ⁴Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, ⁵to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. ( Titus 2:3-5 )

I began attending this bi-monthly bible study about 2 months after the conference and like I mentioned earlier was reading some great books that we had gotten from there.

"The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman
"Staying Close: Stopping the Natural Drift Towards Isolation in Marriage" by Dennis and Barbra Rainey
"Rocking the Roles: Building a WIN-WIN Marriage" by Robert Lewis and William Hendricks

But what helped the most was to be with other wives and mothers who were dealing with their own struggles and having a safe place to share openly in order to gain wisdom, guidance and encouragement.

I was blessed to spend three years in this bible study to help me grow and learn....during this time my husband and I had our son, who has been a huge blessing to our family.

Nine years ago my family moved cross country leaving my parents, friends, family and church. I can tell you it was not an easy thing and I struggled for quite some time. But once again God was Faithful. He brought us to a great church family ( Olathe Bible Church )where we are apart of an awesome small group, and a neighbor invited me to a new Bible study ( Bible Study Fellowship or BSF ) where I am growing and encouraged to Trust God in deeper ways and grow in my Love for Him as well as Love for others.......and that is why I started this blog. To share what God is doing in my life.......to share how He is continuing to change my heart !!!!!

Because of Calvary,
Tammy Null